We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
