How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
