I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
