some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
