He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
