Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
