So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
