my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
