is your mom at the bar?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
