My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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