Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
