Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
