my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
