okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
