For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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