There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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