Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
