Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
