omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
