I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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