Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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