do herpes really smell.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
