This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
