Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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