bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
