the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
