i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
