My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
