Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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