a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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