no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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