I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
