At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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