a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
