i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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