So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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