I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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