i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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