well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
