I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
