escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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