i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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