my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
