Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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