After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
