the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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