Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the condom got lost in my hair
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
