Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
