do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
