Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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