if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
