You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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