bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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