Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
