So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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