you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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