i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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