I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
