Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
