Im at strip club and am horny
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
