Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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