I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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